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by artist 徐大花xudahua

@elsaspants

watching this made me so happy!

y’all will be like women should not have sex that they feel pressured into to or aren’t enthusiastic about and then will go and make fun of the same women for reaching x age without having sex? pick a side man.. no bc what is your problem. either you falsely think that everyone just knows someone who they find attractive and feel comfortable/safe around who they are obligated to have sex with OR you think people should go out and traumatize themselves in order to not be labeled cringe and pathetic by you lol. like ok. you do realize that is what you are inspiring

A mini poster to print on the back of my 8 pages single sheet zines

I have a folder called Time is a Flat Circle in which I collect evidence of humanity. Here is most of them.

Okayokayokayokaybut "My hand will wear out but the inscription will remain" is kind of a power line BEFORE you factor in that it is, in fact, over a thousand years old.

It’s always good to spend a few moments, on a quiet day, looking through the Family album.

I think the most humiliating object in the world is the Fleshlight sleeve warmer

Its only purpose is to slide into your fleshlight and get it to body temp. It's $30. I want to get every single man who owns one of these into one room and make them do long-form improv

Jail!

Different Jail!

Is... is there a Fleshlight sleeve chiller?

Death Penalty

Just fyi for everyone the new strain DOES have the capability to do breakthrough infections (meaning if you’ve had your shots or COVID within the last two or three months you can get it again - only 2 confirmed cases in the US as of this morning though), no we don’t know if the new vaccine coming in September will be protective enough, and yes a lot of our overarching medical bodies are letting us doctors know that those who are elderly and/or are immunocompromised should be wearing a mask.

actually none of you should have ever stopped wearing masks in the first place, hope this helps 💖

👆👆👆 THANK YOU LAST COMMENT!!

Ran into another masked person at work yesterday. I told her it was nice to see someone else masking up, and she cheerfully told me that she hadn't gotten sick since she started wearing masks to work and she had absolutely no intention of getting a cold again this season. I think we would have high fived if we hadn't been politely staying 6 ft apart

One punch man

THE FLOURISH AND SHEATHE

As a professional swordsman should

concept print:
"ART THOU FUCKLESS"
using the ace flag as a colour scheme

okay okay currently on the new/renewed print designs list:

• Dracula Daily Facebook Rant
• Fuck Around And Find Out
• But soft, what baja through yonder window blasts
• Whalefall
• The Ides of March: A Callout
• Art Thou Fuckless
• Do Good Recklessly (redo)
• Limerick Rolled (redo)

god i'm gonna have a VERY busy next week or so

WE BEGIN WITH THE NEW PRINTS!

By popular demand, you can now buy yourself a TOTALLY not unhinged Jonathan Harker letter! Wax seal of your choice is included and it comes folded in with a paprika hendl recipe, on 65lb vellum finish

@re-dracula I think I remember saying I'd @ you about this when it's complete

DAY TWO PRINT DESIGN NUMBER TWO

Baja be thine blast, tis the east and the sun

Day three, print three: Fuck Around and Find Out ft. a border of mint leaves, all presumably placed straight into the ground :)

(Okay so they aren't quite PRINTED yet but I'm workin on that and I've got the scan cleared through so I've put the listing live for preorder. I'll mail out the first batch in a few days)

DAY FOUR priNT FOur! Art Thou Fuckless!!!!!!! For my fellow ace spectrum oddballs who feel the deep need to live in walls not dissimilar to Howl's bedroom

(same deal as the last print, not quite ready to ship yet but the designs and things are complete so I ought to be able to ship these out by thursday or friday at the absolute latest)

Print FIVE!!! I've had this in the offing for quite some time, just hadn't had the chance to get it printed properly, but it's based off of @heresmyfiddlestick 's addition onto this post right here

Three more print designs coming out this week!!!

We got whalefall, and the redos of limerick rolled and do good recklessly left

DAY FUCKIN SIX LETS GIVE IT UP FOR DAY SIIXXXX

here's the redux of the old do good recklessly piece, updated for 2023!

TWO MORE DAYS TWO MORE DESIGNS

okok so i updated the image above with the ACTUAL colour corrected final version of the print that ought to show up when you buy one

in the meantime, since i'm editing this version let's put in the limerick roll

Day 7,,,,, i am so tired but i will PERSISt there is ONE more design after this one! this is a redux of the ol' limerick rolled

DAY EIGHT AND IM HOME FREE: THE LOOOONNNG AWAITED PRINT EDITION OF MY POEM, WHALEFALL

(cant fucking believe I managed to keep with the schedule but there you have it, a print released per day for over a week. now if you'll excuse me i need to package nearly a hundred orders for the post office and then fall into an exhaustion coma)

here's my hot take about my generation and people younger than me (I'm 22 years old)

The reason current teenagers and people in their really early 20s are conservative on accident and have such shitty takes on the internet is because our generation was much more sheltered than previous generations and because we were raised to be ok with orwellian servailence and that is 100% the fault of our parents, Reagan Era kidnapping panics, and the rise of technology all coming together to prevent us from doing the sketchy shit that sends parents into panic mode but which is also completely fundemental to childhood development. If your parents had even a crumb of money to their name and even a shred of free time they started tracking your phone as soon as it was possible to. I did not experience this because my parents are actively trying to live like it's the 1990s and still have not gotten cell phones of their own, and did not let me have one until I was 18 years old and it was no longer their choice, but literally over half of my friends in middle and high school had their phones tracked by their parents at some point or other, and we would occasionally find this out, not because their parents told them, but when we were trying to do the aforementioned sketchy shit and their parent's car would pull up. And I would, like a reasonable person after finding this out, encourage my friends to just leave their phones at home, and their response would be "What if I get kidnapped" or "My parents are just trying to keep me safe"

This in my estimation has lead to a combination of kids being terminally online because they do have internet access and are better at deleting search history than their parents think they are, but don't have the freedom to go out and do shit without their parents' knowledge or consent, so they have the most privacy from the people who control their lives while they're on the internet, and kids not having the real world experiences they should have, not knowing how to connect with other people irl, not feeling comfortable leaving the house because of the horror story lies their parents told them to make them ok with the surveillance they were inflicting on their kids. Kids these days are growing up in the fucking panopticon when they should be out in the woods playing with knives or stealing cigarettes from their older sibling and going out to an empty parking lot to smoke them or whatever and that shit is sticking with them into adulthood. Things that were "tee hee we could get in trouble isn't this so fun and daring" in the 1990s and 2000s have become in the 2010s and 2020s things that are "If I do that without texting my parents some sort of lie to excuse where my location is my parent's car will pull up and I will get grounded for the next two weeks."

Like even when I was 19 I had a 16 year old friend who would volunteer their time at a food shelf and that's how we knew each other. We would talk about dungeons and dragons together, and the game store was 4 blocks from the food shelf. One day we left the food shelf earlier than they had told their parents they would and they got punished for that. We were literally just going to look at dungeons and dragons miniatures and dice, which was self evident if you could see where we started and how far we walked and where too. I have to assume that this isn't uncommon. It's wrong, but it's not uncommon.

Ok it has become apparent to me that people do not understand what I mean by conservative on accident.

Nobody my age is voting republican. Let's be clear on that. With the exception of a small minority of gamer gaters and people who were raised in actual cults most people my age are either commies or good liberals who votes straight blue down the ticket. This is because of the greta thunberg effect. We're all afraid of dying of thirst because there's no water anymore at the age of 35. Wealthy white children are no longer safe with the republican party which has become less of a political party and more of a death cult, and white children are less wealthy than they used to be (I specify white because POC by in large never voted for the party of the southern strategy for obvious reasons). We as a generation are so insanely blue that they're trying to raise the voting age to 25 about it.

This liberalism and party affiliation doesn't preclude them from being conservative on accident. What I mean by that is... Well

No kink at pride is a great example. The assumption that pride should exist at all makes them think that they're immune to conservative logic but they're still trying to enforce a dominant ideology onto a minority group. That person who made the tweet about how you shouldn't have sex in houses where there are children in the other room and if you can't avoid it you're a sex addict. That's a great example of like straight up puritanism coming out of the mouth of someone who proports themselves to be a leftist

If you ever see a discourse that feels like an obvious psyop as an adult and you can't understand why these supposed leftist youths are falling for it it's because that kid has never had sex in the woods and had to try to buy plan b under their parent's nose. My generation is dumb about sex. We're dumb about drugs. We're dumb about theft. We moralize literally everything. We're so dumb about stranger danger that we never learned how to community organize so while the vast vast majority of us are crushed by existential dread about debt and climate change but we never do anything about it because we just don't know how to organize because we're raised to see everyone else as a threat and we never went to or organized parties as teens because our parents would always know and stop us.

They managed to invent a generation that hates capitalism but fully buys into individualism and who is supportive of queer people and way less monogamous than previous generations but who still buys into the base assumptions of the nuclear family and thinks sex is evil. The levels of politics going on here are way weirder and stupider and more complicated than "young people vote republican and watch Fox news"

I've never seen anybody explain it so well

hey @staff this is a bad look lmao

guys why do you think we come to tumblr for...... the twitter experience??

but wait! it gets worse!

[text transcript: why is the activity pane blocking the dashboard. it didn't do that before]

[text transcript: oh good i'll just open a chatbox and have it appear (insert big long arrow across the screen) way over here. this is so seamless compared to when these features were closer. so not jarring at all /s]

@staff why do you not listen to real feedback from the userbase and instead copy twitter's homework and doing it incredibly awfully even

I don’t get it, man. why. why do we have to homogenize everything. why does every product have to look and behave and feel the exact same way. why can’t tumblr maintain its individuality? why can’t it lean into the things that make it a unique and refreshing offering instead of scrambling to make it a carbon copy of twitter? sucks, man. sucks.

it’s just like. this broadcasts loud and clear that the people behind the curtain have no pride or faith in this site at all. that tumblr, as a whole, has no worth or merit unless it’s somehow tricking the larger internet community into thinking it’s actually another site. and the users are supposed to celebrate this? where’s the dignity? where’s the self-respect? where’s the joy? it’s disheartening and embarrassing to be forced to conform. smh.